The Story of Rylie the Infant Princess... by Devon, et al

So most of you may already know that Rylie was born via a Cesarean Section on July 21st, 2010 at 5:29pm... What you may not know, is the story behind the magic... but never fear dear readers, I'm here to tell you about it (in the form of a "classic fantasy medieval tale")... I'll try to keep it short, yet awesome!

After rereading the following story, I realize that it is absurd beyond belief and less awesome than originally intended... but still a little awesome. Anyway, I am presenting it in all its absurd glory, or lack thereof, for your reading displeasure. Please withhold all judgement.

Our hero, Devon the Brave, and his young bride, Christie the Fair, were embarking on a journey to find the infant Princess, Rylie the Infant Princess (I know, its a little redundant, but I'm not making this up or I would just change it). This was the morn of Wednesday, the eventual day that Rylie the Infant Princess arrived (or was born)... it was EARLY in the morning... so early that the meadowlarks had'th not yet begun to sing their merry tune. It was off to the land of Baylor of Grapevine. When we arrived we gathered into The Secret Chamber of Birthing to await the Infant Princess.

It was an inviting chamber with many nice maidens to provide assistance during the wait. Christie the Fair laid down on the sacred Resting Table and was given a magical serum, hoping to entice the Infant Princess to arrive sooner, as every minute without her pains Christie the Fair and makes her more and more uncomfortable. Luckily, this is a Magic Secret Chamber of Birthing (as opposed to just a Secret Chamber of Birthing) and the maidens were fantastic by helping out while we waited (labored if you will). We waited, and labored, and waited, and labored some more. Devon the Brave was able to live up to his name by keeping Christie calm (as much as possible) through the waiting. Devon also had a special surprise in his armor (yes, armor... I almost went with "chain mail" but... armor is better, I think). This surprise is called the Epidural of Calming which he acquired from aptly named Land of Wonderful Things To Use In A Secret Chamber. Unfortunately this came in the form of a Magical Syringe which could only be used in Christie's back.

After the Epidural of Calming was administered, the waiting didn't seem as painful. What happened next is hard to explain... the nice maidens had some kind of sacred link between themselves and the Infant Princess which allowed them to "monitor" her as she approached the Secret Chamber of Birthing. This turned out to be very helpful. As Rylie proceeded, a small threshold slowly opened in front of her drawing her near, but the entry was not yet big enough to allow her disproportionate head to pass...  But that did not stop the determined Infant Princess. Soon Rylie began to slow in her journey and the Royal Heart Rate began to fall. The maidens quickly came in and positioned Christie to make her more inviting to Rylie (we didn't want her to change her mind, of course). Thusly, the Infant Princess raised her Heart Rate staying true to her goal, but proceeded sluggishly.

NOTE: The Ancient Ritual states that an Infant Princess must proceed to the Secret Chamber of Birthing via the Mystical Canal of Cervixia... in case you were wondering.

Because of Rylie's infinite persistence and the slow progression of the opening to the Mystical Canal of Cervixia the Ancient Ritual had to be overturned. The Ancient Ritual provides a single loophole by stating that only one person can break the previously mentioned statement regarding the passing through the Mystical Canal of Cervixia, a Spiritual Gypsy of Delivery. Thank goodness we had been visiting with Naomi the Great (a Spiritual Gypsy of Delivery) for the past several years and more frequently for the past 9 1/2 months.

By the power of Naomi the Great, the Ritual was broken and Christie the Fair and Devon the Brave were present as Naomi assisted Rylie the Infant Princess through a Secret "section" of the Canal of Cervixia (a shortcut to the Secret Chamber of Birthing) built by Francis B. Cesar himself... called the Cesarean Section.

Because of Rylie's impatience, she received a complimentary egg shape added to the top of her head, but only temporarily. With nothing more than some nerves and a short-lived intense concern for Rylie as she journeyed into our lives, Devon the Brave and Christie the Fair welcomed their new Infant Princess with open arms and everyone lived happily ever after.

The End 

I hope you enjoyed the story of Rylie the Infant Princess and how she came to be with Devon the Brave and Christie the Fair... If you didn't then this blog probably isn't for you... because I'm a little weird (but in a good way)...

Obligatory picture of the Infant Princess (this also happens to be my "Lock Screen" on my iPhone):

Peace,
D&C

More Pictures...

Sorry if I repeat some of these, soon I will get organized and mark the ones i have posted and ones i haven't. Also, if you were unlucky enough to check the blog earlier this week, I was having some technical difficulties and some of the pictures weren't displaying properly... but that should be fixed now. Enjoy!

D&C

G-Ma & Rylie

Another Grandmother iPhone movie... this time it's G-Ma!

Last night in the hospital...

More random pictures: Enjoy!

D&C

A Few Good Pictures... In a Movie...

Rylie and Her Nana...

Professional Pictures... Hospital Bed Studios, LLC

It is amazing what a photographer can do with a bed, a blanket, a pillowcase, and a baby! Check out these pictures... CUTEST BABY EVER!

D&C

Life at the hospital... through a new Dad's eyes...

Hey guys,

I figured I'd take a minute to write a little something tonight... right now I'm watching my wife sleeping with a little baby on her chest doing what is called, at this hospital, "skin to skin" (I think I've heard something about "kangaroo hold" or something like that being that same at other places)... I'm not sure that sleeping is a part of the process by design, but they look so tired and cute that it's okay! I'm tired myself right now, but I'm also awake if that makes sense... nights and days all kinda blend together when feedings happen every 2-3 hours. I just called my best friend for the first time since Rylie was born and I looked down and it was 11:00pm... luckily he was at a bar, drinking milk of course... I thought it was more like 8:30pm. My brain hasn't been functioning as well lately, so if these stories seem a bit random... its probably just you.

Here are some interesting tidbits/lessons/factoids that I have learned in the past 72 hours:

• Hospital towels are roughly the size of an Olive Garden table napkin, only thinner.
• Unplanned C-Sections are nerve wracking, no matter how tough you are... so you can imagine how it was for me! Har har har...
• DO NOT look over the drape during a C-Section, you will pass out (I did not pass out, but I would have had I looked, I promise!)
• Poop IS exciting... I know, it's weird... type, consistency, amount... ALL VERY EXCITING!
• Spit up IS NOT exciting... no way, no how...
• Hospital "couch-beds" are plastic-coated for a reason. This reason is not comfortability.

And now for some picture goodness!

D&C

Second Glimpse...

Rylie Michelle

Born: 7/21/10 5:29pm

Weight: 7 lbs 3 oz

Length: 20 inches

Here are a few more pics from the time Rylie was born to the last few pics we've taken of her...

More to come later and some more details from the birth...
D&C

First Glimpse...

First baby pictures!








How cool is this?
D&C

Week 37 & 38: Baby Date CONFIRMED!!!

Week 37: Swiss Chard

Week 38: Leek

Probably won't be posting next week on Tuesday (heck, maybe I will, you never know) but it is the day before Rylie will get to meet us and vice versa! July 21st (or possibly earlier depending on how stubborn she is) will be Rylie's birthday. This is so freakin' cool, there aren't really words to describe it all. But I'll try.

We are almost parents... responsible for another human being for the next 18 or more years! This freaks me out A LOT! I'm not sure its really a question of whether we're going to mess this kid up, it's more a matter of how much we are going to mess this kid up (Just kidding... sort of). On the other hand, I know that the good will outweigh any negatives because, well, that's what everyone tells me... and I mean EVERYONE that has kids says the same thing: "It's hard, but sooooo worth it!" or some variation of that. So, this gives me hope that the sleepless nights, spit-up in the mouth, poopy diapers, and non-stop crying will be overridden by adorable smiles, happy giggles, and wonderful moments to share forever...

The posts from the hospital will most likely be just pictures from my phone. No hilarious stories till I get a little time... (I think I just heard all the parents in the world collectively laugh and say "Ha, yeah right...free time? What's that?) But one can dream!

I will leave you with a picture. I stylized this one to make the blocks stand out and think it is outstanding. It will probably end up on a wall somewhere in our house. (We received our Maternity pics, so no more "stealing" from the proof site.) Anyway, hope you like this as much as I do... In fact this is my lock screen on my iPhone.

Next time I write, we will be parents,
D&C

Week 35 & 36: Finishing Touches...

Week 36: Crenshaw Melon

There is a saying that refers to installing a baby's car seat: "If you didn't sweat your arse off, then you didn't do it correctly"... OMG, they were RIGHT!!! I put the bases into both Christie's and my car this past week, and i think i lost several pounds in sweat (don't worry I gained it all back... wouldn't want to loose my manly figure now would I?), but I beat those bases and wrestled them into stable baby-protecting submission!

Week 35: Honeydew Melon

Christie is getting around pretty well, and she wants to start walking again so that it will help Rylie arrive sooner... which would be just fine with us and the doctors, since tomorrow we reach Week 37!!! This means not only has she surpassed the size of a Crenshaw Melon but she is considered "full term"... this is fantastic because the odds are in our favor to have a perfectly healthy little girl! We'll report more after the doctor tomorrow.

We also got the proofs for our Maternity Photos that we took at Engaged Studio LLC and being the internet genius that I am, I stole some to put on the blog just for you! Don't worry, we're buying a DVD of them all so its not really stealing... Anyway, here is a sampling of the pictures we had taken... Enjoy!

See ya,
D&C