Tuesday, October 26, 2010

What We've Learned...Episode 2

Hola People,
This post is brought to you by the letter "P" as in "Poop"...

Babies Need a "Shut Off" Valve!
For some reason they don't necessarily stop pooping just because their diaper is full. I found this out first hand last week. Rylie has slight reflux (or at least the beginnings of it, which is typical for babies... not to mention that most of my family has it too) so she has to be held upright for 10-15 minutes after she feeds. This episode, in particular, happened on a weekend during the late afternoon. I typically sit with her between my legs facing away from me, as if we are watching TV together (it's cute... I know!) Then I hear Rylie fart! This is very typical and usually they sound wet... and by wet I mean there is absolutely no way to tell if she has just tried to "one up" Dumbo for largest dookie ever or is impersonating my Dad on a trampoline (blaming it on the "frogs" or "barking spiders" if you get my drift). Today, it was numero uno, choice A, the first one... she decided today was the day to really put Proctor & Gamble to the test and see exactly how much a Size 1 Pampers can hold! (Hint: When the box says 8-12 pounds, that number is not indicative of "poop capacity")
Editor's Note: That line was shamelessly stolen from one of the 3-5 Jeff Foxworthy CD's I have heard (and maybe own) but it fit so, Jeff, Deal with it!
At this point in Rylie's "life career" her doo doos are more like mustard than, well, regular adult human poo. So by doing "Rylie Poo Mathematics": Inability of Dad to determine the difference between farts and poops + Unwillingness of Dad to immediately check the diaper for poo, but instead assuming that it's just farts = Dookiefest '2010! We "soiled" no less than 4 pieces of clothing, only 1 of which were worn by someone under the age of 25. These include: The "onesie" that Rylie had on, my athletic shorts (I know, I'm not athletic... but I can still wear the shorts), my t-shirt (I know... I'm not a "T" but I can still wear the shirt), and my boxers (I know I'm not a.... just kidding, that would be taking the joke 3 steps farther than it needed to be taken.) If Rylie had only known that her diaper was full, and had the faculties to control the flow, this would have never happened OR if babies had shut off valves... I could have used that instead.

Diapers Cause Nuclear Blowouts!
As if the previous story wasn't enough about baby crap, I have another... just... for... YOU! It's shorter, i promise. Unless I don't stop introducing the story. Then it could get much longer. Ok, enough introduction. On with the story! Some time ago, like 3 weeks maybe, we upsized our diapers from NB to 1. Wanna know how we knew it was time? Well, let's just say that the previous story was not the only time that poop has shot up her back, just the only time it took several minutes for us to realize it. So when this happened the first time, we naively thought "Hey, her diapers might be too small. If we go to size 1 then this won't happen anymore." WRONG! For more information, see "Babies Need a "Shut Off" Valve!" above.

Shots hurt Mommies more than Babies.
Recently, we received our first round of shots. (Actually, it's been so stinkin' long since I've posted anything that it won't be to much longer until we have our 2nd round of shots... Lo Siento!) Long story, short. We went into get Rylie's first round of shots. We knew this wasn't going to be super duper or even great, but we were hoping for tolerable. Previously, Rylie has done well with heel pricks, etc. so we were hopeful. The way that she screamed you would have thought they loaded the doses in an AK-47 and fired them (all 131 of them) at her, firing-squad style. But no, it was not as it appeared. it was only 3 total sticks, but the wailing was intense to say the least. It lasted about 1.5 minutes and when it subsided, in the background could be heard the quiet sobs of a empathizing mommy. The sobs lasted about 1.5 hours. (I'm half joking here.) Anyway, all is well and we are vaccinated to the hilt... until her 4 month checkup!

And now for the part you've all been waiting for... the pictures!


Wednesday, September 29, 2010

2 Months and Counting...

Last week we had our 2 month checkup...

Our doctor says we have a perfect baby... I tend to agree with her, I'm just sayin'! I think she meant medically perfect, but I'm am a guy so I hear what I want to hear... right? Right!

Rylie is now up to 10lbs 9oz and 22.5" long... running around somewhere between 50th and 75th percentile... in other words (or the same words as earlier) PERFECT!

I'm slowly trying to teach Rylie how to be Awesome like her dad, and I think she's picking up on it rather well... Just look at her! She basically exudes Awesomeness!

I have another "What We've Learned" in the works... so be ready to laugh your heads right off...

And now for the pictures!

Hangin' out with Sister Addie

No Pictures, Please

D,C,& R

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Roll That Beautiful Pool Footage...

Hello Boys and Girls,

No stories this time... just some AWESOME VIDEO!!! Enjoy!

Sunday, September 5, 2010

What We've Learned...Episode 1

Hello Rylie followers,
I thought I'd start a new "Series" here called "What We've Learned..." These will be mostly light-hearted stories about things that have happened since Rylie was born that taught us a valuable, hilarious, or mildly serious lesson. So without further ado... Episode 1:

It is much better to bite a newborn's finger nails rather than attempt to clip them.
Being a dad who has bitten his fingernails for over 20 years with very few breaks, I decided it was my job to take care of my daughter's fingernails. Logical? No!... But that is irrelevant. I tried to bite them off like the nurses told us to, but I kept feeling as if I was about to bite the tip of her finger off. So instead I attempted to clip them with "safety" clippers. And boy were they safe... Those clippers didn't feel a thing. Rylie, on the other hand, got her first taste of pain. I clipped a good chunk of skin off and she bled hopefully more than she will for quite some time. Actually I think it bothered Christie more than it did Rylie. The cool part of this story is that we got creative and fashioned a baby-sized band-aid from an adult-sized one. It was the cutest band-aid EVER!

Babies have the power to change the fabric of time and space.
It's a fact that we are notoriously late for most things... This is a fact that I haaaaaaaaate... but I live with it, and occasionally its partially my fault too, but that doesn't mean I like it! Well, Rylie must looooooooooove it... because the closest we have been to being on time to anything since she arrived was when we had people over to our house... yes, that's right, OUR HOUSE! I'm pretty sure we were even a little late to that. That 15 minute buffer that we were supposed to always leave ourselves (that we could never really leave ourselves) has turned into and hour buffer. Therefore, Rylie has changed time itself... I know its a stretch, but I thought it was a better title than "Babies make you late"... 

The name Rylie is Spanish for "Poop Bazooka".

The picture to the left is to be used a reference. Janelle from Engaged Studio and I were setting up for this shot. Christie was observing, and we were in the kitchen. I was holding Rylie in the opposite direction than pictured to the left so that Christie could help get her diaper off. Let's just say that Christie effectively took the safety off of the Bazooka! Rylie, being the polite little Bazooka that she is, decided to wait until Janelle was almost clear to release the poop rocket all over the kitchen floor. Janelle was able to dodge the blast, Matrix-style! If you have a hard time picturing this, please do the following: 1. Place plastic wrap on an area of your kitchen. 2: Open a brand new bottle of Frenches yellow mustard. 3. Cut the opening slightly to make it a little bigger. 4. SQUEEZE!!! 5. Be amazed that a baby has that much force behind its... ummm behind.  We then proceeded to take this (and several other) beautiful pictures of my arm... and a Baby Bazooka. I'm not going to lie, I was a little scared of pointing the "wrong" end toward me.

Rylie has launched her "ammo" approximately 5 feet no less than a half a dozen times... I repeat "Poop...Bazooka"!

Poop is no longer Awesome.
This one is really self-explanatory. I commented in an earlier post that "Poop is Awesome" or "Poop is Exciting" or something similarly silly and ridiculous! Now poop is something that I hope doesn't leak onto her various seating/carrying/laying receptacles... let alone on me or Christie. However, the faces that Rylie makes when she is "doing her business" ARE awesome!

Frozen breast milk requires a second refrigerator.
We are in the "breast feeding is better" camp and have been extremely fortunate in the breast milk endeavors. (I would also like it to be known that just because we believe that breast feeding is the way to go, we do understand that sometimes it isn't possible or that everyone has their own opinions and can raise their children the best way they see fit.) Rylie will be going to day care starting in October and we will be sending breast milk with her everyday. Needless to say, Christie will have to pump most of her milk once she goes back to work and we store that in the freezer. After about 3 weeks of pumping we have completely overwhelmed our existing freezer (it didn't have much room left to begin with)... So what is the logical next step? Clean out the freezer, right? WRONG! The correct answer is "Buy another 'fridge"... It's really just a good excuse to buy a drink fridge to eventually put in the garage. So this time next year, we might have to pack the fridge with "beverages" and take a picture... and then drink them. Sounds fun!

I'm sure we will have many more lessons learned and I will attempt to turn them into hilarious anecdotes. If you hate the stories, then here are more pictures from the wonderful Janelle at Engaged Studio LLC.

- DC&R

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Rylie and Her Photoshop Skills... at 6 Weeks Old!!!

These are a couple of photos that I have either taken and edited or edited from her Newborn photo shoot or from Christie's Maternity shoot... Thanks to Janelle at Engaged Studio for the wonderful photo shoots (and for the 2 more we have coming at 6 months and 1 year!!!)

I'm working on the first "What We've Learned" post, but I want it to be super duper, so it's taking some time... not to mention that time is something that seems to be disappearing quickly!

Enjoy these pics... I think they turned out really nicely, and I'm usually pretty critical of my artistic work.

Update: Some links were messed up and I can't seem to find the other pics that were here... sorry.

My personal favorite, Go Figure... And Go Pokes!


Sunday, August 8, 2010

Pictures Pictures Pictures... Actually Just 5 Pictures...

Soon we will be starting a new series called "What We've Learned..." It will be full of humorous anecdotes and whimsical stories about the newness of baby life, lessons we have learned along the way, and just funny stuff that has happened. Episode 1 due sometime this week. Until then enjoy some pictures.

Monday, August 2, 2010

Mystery Solved...

So after much anticipation... We finally found out what Rylie was hiding underneath that gross black chunk of yuck in the middle of her belly...



Saturday, July 31, 2010

The Story of Rylie the Infant Princess... by Devon, et al

So most of you may already know that Rylie was born via a Cesarean Section on July 21st, 2010 at 5:29pm... What you may not know, is the story behind the magic... but never fear dear readers, I'm here to tell you about it (in the form of a "classic fantasy medieval tale")... I'll try to keep it short, yet awesome!

After rereading the following story, I realize that it is absurd beyond belief and less awesome than originally intended... but still a little awesome. Anyway, I am presenting it in all its absurd glory, or lack thereof, for your reading displeasure. Please withhold all judgement.
Our hero, Devon the Brave, and his young bride, Christie the Fair, were embarking on a journey to find the infant Princess, Rylie the Infant Princess (I know, its a little redundant, but I'm not making this up or I would just change it). This was the morn of Wednesday, the eventual day that Rylie the Infant Princess arrived (or was born)... it was EARLY in the morning... so early that the meadowlarks had'th not yet begun to sing their merry tune. It was off to the land of Baylor of Grapevine. When we arrived we gathered into The Secret Chamber of Birthing to await the Infant Princess.
It was an inviting chamber with many nice maidens to provide assistance during the wait. Christie the Fair laid down on the sacred Resting Table and was given a magical serum, hoping to entice the Infant Princess to arrive sooner, as every minute without her pains Christie the Fair and makes her more and more uncomfortable. Luckily, this is a Magic Secret Chamber of Birthing (as opposed to just a Secret Chamber of Birthing) and the maidens were fantastic by helping out while we waited (labored if you will). We waited, and labored, and waited, and labored some more. Devon the Brave was able to live up to his name by keeping Christie calm (as much as possible) through the waiting. Devon also had a special surprise in his armor (yes, armor... I almost went with "chain mail" but... armor is better, I think). This surprise is called the Epidural of Calming which he acquired from aptly named Land of Wonderful Things To Use In A Secret Chamber. Unfortunately this came in the form of a Magical Syringe which could only be used in Christie's back.
After the Epidural of Calming was administered, the waiting didn't seem as painful. What happened next is hard to explain... the nice maidens had some kind of sacred link between themselves and the Infant Princess which allowed them to "monitor" her as she approached the Secret Chamber of Birthing. This turned out to be very helpful. As Rylie proceeded, a small threshold slowly opened in front of her drawing her near, but the entry was not yet big enough to allow her disproportionate head to pass...  But that did not stop the determined Infant Princess. Soon Rylie began to slow in her journey and the Royal Heart Rate began to fall. The maidens quickly came in and positioned Christie to make her more inviting to Rylie (we didn't want her to change her mind, of course). Thusly, the Infant Princess raised her Heart Rate staying true to her goal, but proceeded sluggishly.
NOTE: The Ancient Ritual states that an Infant Princess must proceed to the Secret Chamber of Birthing via the Mystical Canal of Cervixia... in case you were wondering.
Because of Rylie's infinite persistence and the slow progression of the opening to the Mystical Canal of Cervixia the Ancient Ritual had to be overturned. The Ancient Ritual provides a single loophole by stating that only one person can break the previously mentioned statement regarding the passing through the Mystical Canal of Cervixia, a Spiritual Gypsy of Delivery. Thank goodness we had been visiting with Naomi the Great (a Spiritual Gypsy of Delivery) for the past several years and more frequently for the past 9 1/2 months.
By the power of Naomi the Great, the Ritual was broken and Christie the Fair and Devon the Brave were present as Naomi assisted Rylie the Infant Princess through a Secret "section" of the Canal of Cervixia (a shortcut to the Secret Chamber of Birthing) built by Francis B. Cesar himself... called the Cesarean Section.
Because of Rylie's impatience, she received a complimentary egg shape added to the top of her head, but only temporarily. With nothing more than some nerves and a short-lived intense concern for Rylie as she journeyed into our lives, Devon the Brave and Christie the Fair welcomed their new Infant Princess with open arms and everyone lived happily ever after.
The End 
I hope you enjoyed the story of Rylie the Infant Princess and how she came to be with Devon the Brave and Christie the Fair... If you didn't then this blog probably isn't for you... because I'm a little weird (but in a good way)...

Obligatory picture of the Infant Princess (this also happens to be my "Lock Screen" on my iPhone):


Friday, July 30, 2010

More Pictures...

Sorry if I repeat some of these, soon I will get organized and mark the ones i have posted and ones i haven't. Also, if you were unlucky enough to check the blog earlier this week, I was having some technical difficulties and some of the pictures weren't displaying properly... but that should be fixed now. Enjoy!


Monday, July 26, 2010