Tuesday, October 26, 2010

What We've Learned...Episode 2

Hola People,
This post is brought to you by the letter "P" as in "Poop"...

Babies Need a "Shut Off" Valve!
For some reason they don't necessarily stop pooping just because their diaper is full. I found this out first hand last week. Rylie has slight reflux (or at least the beginnings of it, which is typical for babies... not to mention that most of my family has it too) so she has to be held upright for 10-15 minutes after she feeds. This episode, in particular, happened on a weekend during the late afternoon. I typically sit with her between my legs facing away from me, as if we are watching TV together (it's cute... I know!) Then I hear Rylie fart! This is very typical and usually they sound wet... and by wet I mean there is absolutely no way to tell if she has just tried to "one up" Dumbo for largest dookie ever or is impersonating my Dad on a trampoline (blaming it on the "frogs" or "barking spiders" if you get my drift). Today, it was numero uno, choice A, the first one... she decided today was the day to really put Proctor & Gamble to the test and see exactly how much a Size 1 Pampers can hold! (Hint: When the box says 8-12 pounds, that number is not indicative of "poop capacity")
Editor's Note: That line was shamelessly stolen from one of the 3-5 Jeff Foxworthy CD's I have heard (and maybe own) but it fit so, Jeff, Deal with it!
At this point in Rylie's "life career" her doo doos are more like mustard than, well, regular adult human poo. So by doing "Rylie Poo Mathematics": Inability of Dad to determine the difference between farts and poops + Unwillingness of Dad to immediately check the diaper for poo, but instead assuming that it's just farts = Dookiefest '2010! We "soiled" no less than 4 pieces of clothing, only 1 of which were worn by someone under the age of 25. These include: The "onesie" that Rylie had on, my athletic shorts (I know, I'm not athletic... but I can still wear the shorts), my t-shirt (I know... I'm not a "T" but I can still wear the shirt), and my boxers (I know I'm not a.... just kidding, that would be taking the joke 3 steps farther than it needed to be taken.) If Rylie had only known that her diaper was full, and had the faculties to control the flow, this would have never happened OR if babies had shut off valves... I could have used that instead.

Diapers Cause Nuclear Blowouts!
As if the previous story wasn't enough about baby crap, I have another... just... for... YOU! It's shorter, i promise. Unless I don't stop introducing the story. Then it could get much longer. Ok, enough introduction. On with the story! Some time ago, like 3 weeks maybe, we upsized our diapers from NB to 1. Wanna know how we knew it was time? Well, let's just say that the previous story was not the only time that poop has shot up her back, just the only time it took several minutes for us to realize it. So when this happened the first time, we naively thought "Hey, her diapers might be too small. If we go to size 1 then this won't happen anymore." WRONG! For more information, see "Babies Need a "Shut Off" Valve!" above.

Shots hurt Mommies more than Babies.
Recently, we received our first round of shots. (Actually, it's been so stinkin' long since I've posted anything that it won't be to much longer until we have our 2nd round of shots... Lo Siento!) Long story, short. We went into get Rylie's first round of shots. We knew this wasn't going to be super duper or even great, but we were hoping for tolerable. Previously, Rylie has done well with heel pricks, etc. so we were hopeful. The way that she screamed you would have thought they loaded the doses in an AK-47 and fired them (all 131 of them) at her, firing-squad style. But no, it was not as it appeared. it was only 3 total sticks, but the wailing was intense to say the least. It lasted about 1.5 minutes and when it subsided, in the background could be heard the quiet sobs of a empathizing mommy. The sobs lasted about 1.5 hours. (I'm half joking here.) Anyway, all is well and we are vaccinated to the hilt... until her 4 month checkup!

And now for the part you've all been waiting for... the pictures!


1 comment:

  1. Oh...my...gosh! That first story killed me. So hilarious. I can hear you telling the story and that makes it even better!! Miss you guys!