The Story of Rylie the Infant Princess... by Devon, et al

So most of you may already know that Rylie was born via a Cesarean Section on July 21st, 2010 at 5:29pm... What you may not know, is the story behind the magic... but never fear dear readers, I'm here to tell you about it (in the form of a "classic fantasy medieval tale")... I'll try to keep it short, yet awesome!

After rereading the following story, I realize that it is absurd beyond belief and less awesome than originally intended... but still a little awesome. Anyway, I am presenting it in all its absurd glory, or lack thereof, for your reading displeasure. Please withhold all judgement.

Our hero, Devon the Brave, and his young bride, Christie the Fair, were embarking on a journey to find the infant Princess, Rylie the Infant Princess (I know, its a little redundant, but I'm not making this up or I would just change it). This was the morn of Wednesday, the eventual day that Rylie the Infant Princess arrived (or was born)... it was EARLY in the morning... so early that the meadowlarks had'th not yet begun to sing their merry tune. It was off to the land of Baylor of Grapevine. When we arrived we gathered into The Secret Chamber of Birthing to await the Infant Princess.

It was an inviting chamber with many nice maidens to provide assistance during the wait. Christie the Fair laid down on the sacred Resting Table and was given a magical serum, hoping to entice the Infant Princess to arrive sooner, as every minute without her pains Christie the Fair and makes her more and more uncomfortable. Luckily, this is a Magic Secret Chamber of Birthing (as opposed to just a Secret Chamber of Birthing) and the maidens were fantastic by helping out while we waited (labored if you will). We waited, and labored, and waited, and labored some more. Devon the Brave was able to live up to his name by keeping Christie calm (as much as possible) through the waiting. Devon also had a special surprise in his armor (yes, armor... I almost went with "chain mail" but... armor is better, I think). This surprise is called the Epidural of Calming which he acquired from aptly named Land of Wonderful Things To Use In A Secret Chamber. Unfortunately this came in the form of a Magical Syringe which could only be used in Christie's back.

After the Epidural of Calming was administered, the waiting didn't seem as painful. What happened next is hard to explain... the nice maidens had some kind of sacred link between themselves and the Infant Princess which allowed them to "monitor" her as she approached the Secret Chamber of Birthing. This turned out to be very helpful. As Rylie proceeded, a small threshold slowly opened in front of her drawing her near, but the entry was not yet big enough to allow her disproportionate head to pass...  But that did not stop the determined Infant Princess. Soon Rylie began to slow in her journey and the Royal Heart Rate began to fall. The maidens quickly came in and positioned Christie to make her more inviting to Rylie (we didn't want her to change her mind, of course). Thusly, the Infant Princess raised her Heart Rate staying true to her goal, but proceeded sluggishly.

NOTE: The Ancient Ritual states that an Infant Princess must proceed to the Secret Chamber of Birthing via the Mystical Canal of Cervixia... in case you were wondering.

Because of Rylie's infinite persistence and the slow progression of the opening to the Mystical Canal of Cervixia the Ancient Ritual had to be overturned. The Ancient Ritual provides a single loophole by stating that only one person can break the previously mentioned statement regarding the passing through the Mystical Canal of Cervixia, a Spiritual Gypsy of Delivery. Thank goodness we had been visiting with Naomi the Great (a Spiritual Gypsy of Delivery) for the past several years and more frequently for the past 9 1/2 months.

By the power of Naomi the Great, the Ritual was broken and Christie the Fair and Devon the Brave were present as Naomi assisted Rylie the Infant Princess through a Secret "section" of the Canal of Cervixia (a shortcut to the Secret Chamber of Birthing) built by Francis B. Cesar himself... called the Cesarean Section.

Because of Rylie's impatience, she received a complimentary egg shape added to the top of her head, but only temporarily. With nothing more than some nerves and a short-lived intense concern for Rylie as she journeyed into our lives, Devon the Brave and Christie the Fair welcomed their new Infant Princess with open arms and everyone lived happily ever after.

The End 

I hope you enjoyed the story of Rylie the Infant Princess and how she came to be with Devon the Brave and Christie the Fair... If you didn't then this blog probably isn't for you... because I'm a little weird (but in a good way)...

Obligatory picture of the Infant Princess (this also happens to be my "Lock Screen" on my iPhone):

Peace,
D&C

The Day You Have All Been Waiting For...

You will not believe what happened this week!!! I did something productive! See... I said you wouldn't believe it! I also have a new legend to discuss. It is: "The Legend of The Circles of Magical Awesomeness", some people call it the Legend of C.O.M.A., but I find that just a little weird so I prefer to use the full title of said legend.

The legend goes a little something like this...

...A long long time ago, there lived a brilliant young man named Devon... Devon was also known as "The one with great hair". One day he was able to attract a fair young lass named Christie to be his bride. This was not easy, because though Devon had the mane of a stallion, he was average in stature and a bit pudgy to boot. It was a good thing that young Christie loved such fine hair. One sunny afternoon, about 3 years into their marriage Devon, whilst wondering through the land of "Babe-ee-zarus" he noticed that a particular pattern caught the attention of his lovely wife. Circles, Dots, O's... Whatever they are called, they were loved by Christie! Therefore, "The One with Great Hair" devised a plan. Find a pattern of circles that a person might draw a magical awesomeness. This pattern will adorn the wall of the first born daughter, and it will be called "The Circles of Magical Awesomeness".

- The End

So I put these circles on the wall... then we painted them. Christie painted the bottom circles and I painted the top because she can't be on a ladder. By chance I took the pictures below after I penciled the circles on the wall and after we painted them... We just hung the letters to visualize them in the first picture, but it turned out to be pretty cool. I'll put a few more pics at the bottom of the whole process, but suffice to say we are VERY happy with the way it all turned out!

Until the Week 26 update,
D&C

Old gross brown color... Came with the house...

First Coat of Paint...

Finished Product! Circles of Magical Awesomeness!

Week 24 & 25: Pink, Pink, Pink... and Green and Brown... and Corn

Time for another double post extravaganza!!! (Or is it a single post with double the content extravaganza? I'm not sure...) We had a date with Naomi last friday... well actually its Naomi's friend cause she is having a baby of her own soon, so she's is out on maternity leave... I hoped that we'd get to see Addison, I heard she's the best, but alas, it was a regular lady doctor!

Anyway, Christie had the privilege of drinking a big bottle of sugary stuff, I think its called Glu-Cola or something, to see if she has gestational diabetes like Brett Michaels. So that means more blood to be drawn... This is one thing that Christie doesn't do very well. But she is getting much better, I must say.

Christie is getting even bigger and we can prove it by looking at the ripples that show when Rylie decides to dance the Nutcracker but with Jazz-hands inside her womb (that's the part we can see... the Jazz-hands)

So we had a couple of pretty big milestones the last couple of weeks... allow me to list them for you (don't get too excited)

1. We began drawing circles on the wall... No, not with crayons... with paint! And I must admit, we're pretty darn good at it! I'll eventually post some pictures to show how awesome we are at circle painting...
   
   
2. Rylie went to her first rock 'n roll concert!!! Bon Jovi, the Legend himself!!! She loved it... I loved it... Christie loved it! Christie wasn't quite as comfortable as Rylie or I were, but that's because Rylie uses Christie as her own personal swimming pool... and I was, let's just say I was relaxed and ready to rock! I fully expect for Rylie's first words to be a lyric from "Bad Medicine"... I'm just sayin'...
   
   
3. We reached Rutabaga status! Watch out veggie-babies... we're WAAAAY past the ear-of-corn stage!

As you can see, I have plastered representative pictures of our baby all over this post... thank goodness for my photoshopping skills to show you how different a Rutabaga is from a quarter. (In case you haven't figured it out yet, I didn't really photoshop a quarter into these pictures... they are provided by www.babycenter.com... but don't worry, I'll still claim that I did it... because I can...) 

That's all for now... see ya next week (or in 2 weeks if I decide to be lazy again...)

D&C

P.S. You guys have been very lazy about the commenting... I know who looks, and I know who comments... and right now there isn't much crossover... we love to hear your words of wisdom, etc. So let's get back to commenting! I mean, its up to you :)

Week 14: Bring on the Sleep...

Hola Everyone,

SUCCESS! Christie finally slept well for the first time in weeks this past weekend!!!...and has been sleeping a little better ever since. Hopefully, this means that the "Legend of the 2nd Trimester" is true...You see, this week marks the start of the 2nd trimester. The "Legend of the 2nd Trimester" goes something like this: Pregnant ladies feel awful to very awful for the first 3 months or so of pregnancy because of no sleep, vomiting (luckily we missed most of this chapter), and headaches. Then, by some hormonal magic, the sleep gets better, energy returns, and the ladies feel better to much better... They also start to grow larger and larger, mostly around the midsection... We haven't experienced the entire Legend, since Christie is just starting this part, but we hope it all comes true. 

Baby continues to grow and is now getting pretty darn heavy... it's 3 1/2 inches long and 1.5 ounces! Crazy huh? We get weekly updates from BabyCenter.com and it usually compares the baby to some sort of fruit, be it something normal like a blueberry or something unusual like a fig... So, on Wednesday Christie tells me... and I quote "Our baby is a Lemon"... Hmmmm, to me that sounds like our baby is going to have a broken transmission 4 times within the first 4 months... Not cool! Thank goodness babies don't have transmissions. Obviously, what she meant was the our baby is not about the size of a lemon. Which is pretty cool.

Christie is beginning to show just a teeny bit. Just barely... but I'm sure that will change soon enough, again if the Legend isn't a pack of lies...

Adios,
D&C