The Story of Rylie the Infant Princess... by Devon, et al

So most of you may already know that Rylie was born via a Cesarean Section on July 21st, 2010 at 5:29pm... What you may not know, is the story behind the magic... but never fear dear readers, I'm here to tell you about it (in the form of a "classic fantasy medieval tale")... I'll try to keep it short, yet awesome!

After rereading the following story, I realize that it is absurd beyond belief and less awesome than originally intended... but still a little awesome. Anyway, I am presenting it in all its absurd glory, or lack thereof, for your reading displeasure. Please withhold all judgement.

Our hero, Devon the Brave, and his young bride, Christie the Fair, were embarking on a journey to find the infant Princess, Rylie the Infant Princess (I know, its a little redundant, but I'm not making this up or I would just change it). This was the morn of Wednesday, the eventual day that Rylie the Infant Princess arrived (or was born)... it was EARLY in the morning... so early that the meadowlarks had'th not yet begun to sing their merry tune. It was off to the land of Baylor of Grapevine. When we arrived we gathered into The Secret Chamber of Birthing to await the Infant Princess.

It was an inviting chamber with many nice maidens to provide assistance during the wait. Christie the Fair laid down on the sacred Resting Table and was given a magical serum, hoping to entice the Infant Princess to arrive sooner, as every minute without her pains Christie the Fair and makes her more and more uncomfortable. Luckily, this is a Magic Secret Chamber of Birthing (as opposed to just a Secret Chamber of Birthing) and the maidens were fantastic by helping out while we waited (labored if you will). We waited, and labored, and waited, and labored some more. Devon the Brave was able to live up to his name by keeping Christie calm (as much as possible) through the waiting. Devon also had a special surprise in his armor (yes, armor... I almost went with "chain mail" but... armor is better, I think). This surprise is called the Epidural of Calming which he acquired from aptly named Land of Wonderful Things To Use In A Secret Chamber. Unfortunately this came in the form of a Magical Syringe which could only be used in Christie's back.

After the Epidural of Calming was administered, the waiting didn't seem as painful. What happened next is hard to explain... the nice maidens had some kind of sacred link between themselves and the Infant Princess which allowed them to "monitor" her as she approached the Secret Chamber of Birthing. This turned out to be very helpful. As Rylie proceeded, a small threshold slowly opened in front of her drawing her near, but the entry was not yet big enough to allow her disproportionate head to pass...  But that did not stop the determined Infant Princess. Soon Rylie began to slow in her journey and the Royal Heart Rate began to fall. The maidens quickly came in and positioned Christie to make her more inviting to Rylie (we didn't want her to change her mind, of course). Thusly, the Infant Princess raised her Heart Rate staying true to her goal, but proceeded sluggishly.

NOTE: The Ancient Ritual states that an Infant Princess must proceed to the Secret Chamber of Birthing via the Mystical Canal of Cervixia... in case you were wondering.

Because of Rylie's infinite persistence and the slow progression of the opening to the Mystical Canal of Cervixia the Ancient Ritual had to be overturned. The Ancient Ritual provides a single loophole by stating that only one person can break the previously mentioned statement regarding the passing through the Mystical Canal of Cervixia, a Spiritual Gypsy of Delivery. Thank goodness we had been visiting with Naomi the Great (a Spiritual Gypsy of Delivery) for the past several years and more frequently for the past 9 1/2 months.

By the power of Naomi the Great, the Ritual was broken and Christie the Fair and Devon the Brave were present as Naomi assisted Rylie the Infant Princess through a Secret "section" of the Canal of Cervixia (a shortcut to the Secret Chamber of Birthing) built by Francis B. Cesar himself... called the Cesarean Section.

Because of Rylie's impatience, she received a complimentary egg shape added to the top of her head, but only temporarily. With nothing more than some nerves and a short-lived intense concern for Rylie as she journeyed into our lives, Devon the Brave and Christie the Fair welcomed their new Infant Princess with open arms and everyone lived happily ever after.

The End 

I hope you enjoyed the story of Rylie the Infant Princess and how she came to be with Devon the Brave and Christie the Fair... If you didn't then this blog probably isn't for you... because I'm a little weird (but in a good way)...

Obligatory picture of the Infant Princess (this also happens to be my "Lock Screen" on my iPhone):

Peace,
D&C

Second Glimpse...

Rylie Michelle

Born: 7/21/10 5:29pm

Weight: 7 lbs 3 oz

Length: 20 inches

Here are a few more pics from the time Rylie was born to the last few pics we've taken of her...

More to come later and some more details from the birth...
D&C

Week 37 & 38: Baby Date CONFIRMED!!!

Week 37: Swiss Chard

Week 38: Leek

Probably won't be posting next week on Tuesday (heck, maybe I will, you never know) but it is the day before Rylie will get to meet us and vice versa! July 21st (or possibly earlier depending on how stubborn she is) will be Rylie's birthday. This is so freakin' cool, there aren't really words to describe it all. But I'll try.

We are almost parents... responsible for another human being for the next 18 or more years! This freaks me out A LOT! I'm not sure its really a question of whether we're going to mess this kid up, it's more a matter of how much we are going to mess this kid up (Just kidding... sort of). On the other hand, I know that the good will outweigh any negatives because, well, that's what everyone tells me... and I mean EVERYONE that has kids says the same thing: "It's hard, but sooooo worth it!" or some variation of that. So, this gives me hope that the sleepless nights, spit-up in the mouth, poopy diapers, and non-stop crying will be overridden by adorable smiles, happy giggles, and wonderful moments to share forever...

The posts from the hospital will most likely be just pictures from my phone. No hilarious stories till I get a little time... (I think I just heard all the parents in the world collectively laugh and say "Ha, yeah right...free time? What's that?) But one can dream!

I will leave you with a picture. I stylized this one to make the blocks stand out and think it is outstanding. It will probably end up on a wall somewhere in our house. (We received our Maternity pics, so no more "stealing" from the proof site.) Anyway, hope you like this as much as I do... In fact this is my lock screen on my iPhone.

Next time I write, we will be parents,
D&C

Naomi Checks the Baby

One thing I hate about the doctor's visits is that when we have an 8:45am appointment, we are lucky if we get called in by 10:30am (That's only slightly an exaggeration...really its like 9:15am) I understand that this is the nature of prenatal care with the unexpected deliveries and what not, but that doesn't mean i have to like it... right?

So we went to see Dr. Naomi (it really is pretty uncanny, the only difference is that our Naomi is pregnant and the one on TV is not...) and she did all the standard stuff. She asked how Christie was feeling. She reminds us how far along we are. She asks if we have any questions. She then listens to all 50 of the questions that I've written down/ typed out on my phone over the past month... she's a good and patient doctor! Christie hasn't gained much weight yet, so we asked about that... she said its normal to not gain or even lose weight over the first trimester. So we're all good there. We asked some questions about safe products, etc. Then we found out some exciting news...

Before I share this news I need to point out that Christie was born on March 6th. I am sometimes very creative with birthday/anniversary presents (especially when we were dating, go figure) and sometimes I am not creative at all... though I haven't forgotten any yet! Woo hoo! That being said, keep these two facts in mind: 

1. Birthdays are a pretty big deal. 
2. Finding out the sex of a baby is a pretty big deal.

On to the exciting news... We get to find out the sex of our baby next month!!! No more "it", "he/she", or just "Baby"... The day we find out? March 5th (which might as well be March 6th, which is Christie's birthday) I'm sure you see where I'm going with this... I think it is brilliant! I was able to perfectly plan the the timing of our pregnancy to ensure that one of the major milestones fell precisely (or really really close) on my wonderful wife's birthday! I am the best husband in the world! I am able to give the gift of "knowing the gender of our baby" to Christie for her birthday!

Genius Right? No? What? That doesn't count as a birthday present? Crap! Well, I thought it was a great idea... Oh well.

I have also decided that it would be cool to take a picture of Christie's belly every week until the baby comes to be able to look back and see the progression over time. Notice that I said "I decided"... I still have to convince Christie... so we'll see.

I DO have some other pretty cool news but that will have to wait till next time (I'll try to not wait till next week)

Until then,
D&C